Friday, January 23, 2009

Shall we say, "Breakdown"?

Okay, get ready to laugh at me.

Yesterday was a little nuts for me. I started out by not getting any sleep. I had to wake up at 5am for practice, the last time I checked my clock before I feel asleep, it was already after 3am and I know I was awake for a while after that. I don't know why, but I simply could sleep. I just tossed and turned all night. So I wake up, go to practice, felt fine.

On the way home, I stopped to pick up my favorite Rockstars, guava and pomegranate.
I hurry and get ready for the day and go to meet my friend Roady where I downed the first Rockstar.

After Roady, I had to go meet my sister. I'm already beyond exhausted. I felt pretty much like a zombie. My sister had a meeting she needed to go to, so a while back she asked me if I'd meet her and take her baby while she was in the meeting. I love my niece so I jump at any opportunity to see her. When I show up, I found out that the silly breast-feeding mother forgot the nipple for the bottle, probably because she doesn't often pump and use a bottle. I offered to go get one at the store for her. I take off with Hadley in the car seat and stop at a grocery store. Me. A 5-week old.
Adiel, who has almost no experience with babies, and a helpless, innocent, pretty much newborn baby.
Me and a 5-week-old.
All by ourselves.
Sense the impending doom?

Off I go in my sister's car with her child in the back seat. At this point, the caffeine is starting to wear off and give me a helium-filled feeling in my head and slow reaction time. Despite that, all is going well. I struggle minimally getting the car seat out of the car. I gently set the car seat in the cart and we're off to find a baby bottle. After walking nearly the entire premises of this grocery store, I find the baby section. Hallelujah! That's when I realized I don't know the first thing about buying a baby bottle. I don't really panic per se, but I had to give myself a little pep talk at this point. "Come on Adiel. You're 23, a big girl! You're smart! You can do this!" After reading the boxes of many different kinds of baby bottles. I go with the Playtex Vent Aire bottles. I'm thinking, the vented bottom prevents air bubbles, the box says it has a realistic nipple shape that is great for transitioning from breast to bottle... sure, why not? Sounds great!

I bought the bottle and after struggling to unhook the car seat from the cart, we safely make it back to the car and back to where my sister was having her meeting. Hadley is fast asleep again by this point so I think, I'll just go sit in the backseat with her and sleep too. She's making far too many cute noises to not watch her though so through my heavy eyes, I just watch my niece sleep. Just as I'm about to feel like I could sleep, she wakes up crying. Her pacifier was not pacifying for long and the crying started up again so I decided it was time to feed her.

I'm my sleepy haze, I pull out the newly-purchased baby bottle. The bottom cap wasn't on the bottle, so I reach in the box and fish it out. That is when I saw the "vent", the cap is filled with holes! I didn't think to take a picture of the cap, but if you look closely, you can sort-of see the vented cap on these bottles.
I don't know how long I sat there staring at the cap and the bottle trying to see how that could possibly be a good idea. I'm scouring the instructions that came with bottle to see how this works. The pictures and the words in the pamphlet and on the box are useless to me. I knew how tired I was and that my brain probably wasn't working on highest level at that particular moment. I willed myself to comprehend was I was currently missing. All the while, I'm trying to keep Hadley calm, but she doesn't stop crying. I just keep reading the directions over and over, hoping suddenly the answer will come to me. It doesn't though. I start thinking that I don't really want to use this bottle if it's not going to be something my sister wants to keep.

At this point I decided to just see if I holding Hadley would calm her down. I take her out of the car seat and cradle her in my arms. The pacifier keeps her calm for a few minutes before she started crying again. I decide that I would figure out this bottle. Funny thing is I was now operating with only one arm, Hadley being in the other. I pull out the new bottle again and decide I'm just going to be careful to not spill. I transfer the milk from the nipple-less to bottle to the new one and start to feed Hadley.
Hooray, she's happy for the moment!

Then all of the sudden I'm feeling something isn't right. The sucking sounds sound choked and there is milk leaking out of her mouth. I pull the bottle out of her mouth and while trying to hold the bottle holey-side-up in the right hand, I attempt to sit Hadley up in the left arm. I was feeling so sick from the caffeine and I was so tired that I'm not really quite sure how the next thing happened. All I know is suddenly breast milk is everywhere. It's all over my right arm, all of my legs, all over Hadley's legs and she's crying again.

I'm feeling beyond horrible at this point that I can't manage to care for my own niece for just 45 minutes by myself. I'm covered in milk, so is she. She's crying and clearly hungry, so I continued my feeding attempt. It just really seemed like the milk was coming out way too fast though and it scared me. I didn't want to break my sister's baby! At some point I realized that the speedy flow was probably due to the "patented air vent system" called the lid.

All of the sudden, it all just got to be too much. The sick feeling from the caffeine, the need to sleep, the crying baby that I just could seem to take care of, the helplessness and the failure..
Tears slowly started rolling down my face. I knew it was dumb and pointless to react in such a way, but I couldn't stop. Hadley quickly consumed all the milk Steph had pumped for her, but having spilled a lot of it, she was still hungry. So she started crying again. That is how Steph found me. Sitting in the back seat of her car, holding her baby girl, both of us covered in breast milk and both of us crying. She opens the door and with an amused half smile on her face, her first words were, "Are you crying?"

Once Stephanie showed up, things didn't really seem quite so bad. I showed her the bottle. She confirmed that I wasn't crazy, the bottle with the "patented" vents was crazy. She insisted we take it back. So we did. Got my money back, no problem. We walked back to the baby section to look for another bottle. Turns out the bottle that I bought had a missing piece, some rubber seal that kept the bottle from doing what it did to me. Of course, I'd get the one that happened not to have all the pieces.

After getting plenty of sleep and having time to get the caffeine out of my system, I realize just how silly my reaction to the situation was. Luckily I am able to laugh at myself! I'm just glad my sister still trusts me with her precious baby!

The best part was as we got into the car and started to drive away from the grocery store, this is what we saw

If you're thinking to yourself right now, "Is that old woman wearing a blue knitted beanie, a leopard print jacket, one pink and white swirled croc and one brown croc?" You would be correct...


Pj.steph said...

Haha! Yep, just as funny the second time around!

Our Family said...

I used those same bottles with Kannon and during your story I couldn't for the life of me figure out why the milk spilled. lol Seems like my luck to buy the bad box of bottles. That was a hilarious story though!

Lynsie said...

Great story! It was quite entertaining! There's nothing worse than trying to calm a crying baby when you are so exhausted. We babysat our friend's baby for a few days awhile back, and all he wanted was me... he wouldn't go to anyone else. I was so tired... I needed a break... if I took a break and gave him to someone else... he would start screaming and crying until I took him back. I remember calling my mom crying about how I would never make a good mom. So it is frustrating, and I'm sure the bottles with the missing piece weren't helping on top of you being so sleepy.

Oh by the way... isn't wearing two different shoes the new trend? Ha ha ha... that picture made me laugh.

Jer and Jules said...

Wow, what a rough day, I'm so sorry! I know I cannot function, let alone think strait when I'm that exhausted, so it seems you did alright. What's up with that weird bottle though, I don't get it. Your niece is beautiful! And at least you had the pick me up of that crazily dressed lady, that had to have made your day a little better, right?

Aunt Julie said...

Oh, gracious! Sounds like you just got a crash course in how to be a new mother, taking care of a newborn on zero sleep...good practice! And of course, even though you were sleep deprived, only Adiel had to notice the way the old woman was dressed...

* tilila and karter * said...

oh my adiel that is hilarious!! zac did that with one of those bottles when karter was first born too.. i walked in the room asking him what the H he was doing! he didnt see the rubber pieces either.. too funny! love it!

Anonymous said...

I´m pretty much crying here just reading this story, to picture my oldest sister, sitting covered in milk and crying with a baby in one hand and the baby rying too.
Nice, Im glad you can still make me laugh when im in a different continent

Lump said...

oh wow, yeah, I would have freaked. I'm not good with kids under the age of say.... five years old. ha!

Anonymous said...


You just described ME at 20 with my newborn after she threw up from nursing too much. She was crying, I was crying, we were covered in breast milk and I was empty. We had to wait for me to refill.. LOL It's so funny now, but wasn't then at all. This will be a wonderful memory one day for you. I'm sure your sister thought that you were and are awesome!

Marrdy said...

Oh poor Adiel. I tried not to laugh. I tried to feel the pain you were feeling but that story, the way you told it, was just too funny. Glad you both survived and that Steph was amused! You're a good Aunt!

Ida said...

I LOVE your life. Seriously, I missed you plenty. And I adore baby girls.


Anonymous said...

What a great, entertaining read this morning! And to end it with such a quirky pic was awesome!!!!! Your niece is ever sooo precious and beautiful and your a wonderful aunt, Im sure!!!

Rebecca Jane said...

You poor thing! Sounds like a rough go, but glad you came through it like a trooper in the end. Your niece is ADORABLE by the way.

Pj.steph said...

Look at all these people feeling sorry for you! :P Poor poor sister. I guess we need to take a picture of the rubber piece so those who don't interact with bottles regularly can understand.